In The City In The Rain

I haven't been out of my apartment at all today. Okay, that's a lie. I haven't been out of my apartment building - I did go downstairs to buy a soda. But that's because it was raining. Alright, it wasn't raining the entire day. The other reason is that I had a hang over.

My "performance review" (i.e. - probation) at work finally ended after two months. I worked my ass off, so I wanted to celebrate by getting drunk. Maybe not the best idea, since I feel like shit today. I'm glad I went out, though. I had the opportunity to hang out w/ my friends Kim and Jose (and then a few others met up w/ us later), drink some adult beverages and take in some eye candy (although there was really only about one good looker in the bunch - he was REALLY cute, though).

I should have done something productive today, but I'll save it for tomorrow. I'll probably work on my current drawing, so maybe I'll post what I've done. For now, though, I think i'm going to curl up under the covers, put 'The Simpsons' on and get some shut eye.

Good night my friends.
xoxoxo

Juicy

Our French friend, Ben, decided to have a BBQ tonight. Here's the evening in photos:

We didn't have matches...



...or a spatula! Yes, they used the fork Adam is holding



but some of the flamers were able to brave the flames



Flame broiled...look at all the juices (ewww!!)



Well done on the outside



not so on the inside



But that didn't stop our host from having a bite



Good friends, good (?) food, good times


Kim and Aurelie (above - and obviously before the food poisoning kicks in)

The Secret's In The Telling

Today I received some really great news. It isn't big news for anyone other than me, but it's something that I have wanted to happen for a while now. It just couldn't be better timing. I can't talk about it at this point since I don't want to jinx it, so I just won't say anything else. Okay, one more thing:

g'nite!

I'm Not Dead

Okay, okay, I’ve taken too long of a break. While it isn’t an excuse, I have been far busier these past two weeks than I think I have ever been. I haven’t had one free night since three Fridays ago. I’m not complaining, either. I’ve met some very interesting people, made some new friends and spent much needed quality time with existing friends.

First thing’s first. If you haven’t noticed already, I designed the logo for The Gayborhoodies, the group Adam and I are forming for the Dallas AIDS Arms LifeWalk. Now that I have that done, my intentions are to be a little more aggressive in promoting the cause and raising money. If you feel obliged, please feel free to donate by clicking here or on the logo in the right hand column.

Speaking of the AIDS Walk, I need to send out a heartfelt thank you to a few people that have made generous contributions to the cause already.

Hypoxic – thank you, thank you, thank you. This guy not only made the first two donations, he also came up with challenge via his blog (visit it if you haven’t already) and got others to contribute by matching up to $400 total. So thank you again, you are amazing.

I also want to thank Tony, Flip and Jimmi. Thanks to your more than generous donations, we were able to not only meet, but exceed our goal far earlier than ever anticipated. In fact, we’ve had to set a new goal.


Basketball is something I never thought I could ever get into. However, I was invited to a party for the second game of the finals, so I thought I would give it a shot. How bad could it be, really? I was shocked to find myself actually getting into it and looking forward to the next game. I should give credit where credit is due. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it as much had I not been in the company of Adam, Brad, Kim and their friends/co-workers. They made it far more entertaining and interesting. Now I can’t wait for the new season to start.

I’ve also been to the movies four times in the past two weeks. I’ve seen X3: The Last Stand, Nacho Libre, Cars and An Inconvenient Truth. The former two were pretty much let downs. Not a complete waste, but just your typical summer fluff that doesn’t live up to previous films (X-Men, X2 and Napoleon Dynamite). The latter two; however, proved to be surprisingly interesting.

The trailer for An Inconvenient Truth made me want to see the movie, but, knowing that it was more of a documentary, I was weary of just how interesting it would be. And while I’m sure most people don’t want to go to the theatre to think, I urge you to go out and support this. If you don’t want to sit through the movie, then at least go to http://www.climatecrisis.net/ and learn what you can do to prevent global warming. Believe it not, we do have the power to change the direction we are taking the world in.

On a lighter note, if you prefer escaping from the world for a couple hours, I recommend Cars from Disney/Pixar. Unlike An Inconvenient Truth, the trailers for this film did not make me want to rush out and see it. But I was hanging out w/ my friend David for the first time in a year and a half (outside of our daily Starbucks breaks – we work together), and we wanted to see a movie. Since nothing looked interesting, we opted for Cars because it didn’t look to be as bad as the others. Plus, it was 10 p.m., so there wouldn’t be any annoying little children. We were both shocked to find that this was, aside from being visually stunning (as most Pixar films are), it was a really good movie (I LOVE Luigi, the yellow car that owns the tire store).




I think people, including myself, have brushed this movie off too easily, so I’m hoping that word of mouth will give it long legs at the box office. I know that the theatres are being flooded with computer animated films and they have pretty much lost the drawing power they initially had, but Pixar continues to rise above the rest. They produce not only stunningly beautiful animation, but a story that has broad appeal. They really make movies for everyone, not just one demographic.

Following up on a previous post, I finally talked to my friend. It was about something he already knew and that I already knew he knew, but I had to say it for myself. And while I didn’t get to say everything that I wanted to, I got the most important thing out. It went well.

And to help Kelly over at Rambling Along In Life...With A Stern Point Of View reach his goal of having 100 blogs w/ this picture on it...



HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

I know this is a long entry, so I’m going to wrap it up now. I thought I would leave you with my favorite song of the moment. It’s from a French rock band called Phoenix. They aren’t new or anything, but this is a new song called Long Distance Call. Press play to give it a listen to, hopefully you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.

I Want To Be In Love

This is my favourite song. Ever. I remember the day that I first heard it. My sister-in-law at the time had just moved to Dallas and was hanging out watching some television. I came out from the bedroom and she had just flipped the channel to CMT. They have this show called Crossroads where they pair up a country singer and a not-so country artist (usually someone adult contemporary or rock-lite, but very country accessible). The pairing this time was Dolly Parton and Melissa Etheridge. And the song they had just begun playing was ‘I Want To Be In Love,’ which was written by and originally recorded by Etheridge. I had never heard the original version, but Dolly made this hers.

Now, I’m a hopeless romantic (which means I'm also a fool), so that’s the main reason I love this song. I have always wanted to be in love. It is, for me, the biggest high (but, then again, I’ve never done drugs, so what do I know).

The other reason is that I really appreciate Etheridge (lesbian aspect aside, I can really relate to a lot of her songs) and adore Parton (I’ve been a fan since I was a wee lil’ one – even been to Dolly World). This was an amazing combination.

Yes, I never tire of this song. And yes, I get all giddy when I listen to it. It’s exactly what I want. I want to be in love! Okay, I am, so I guess I want them to be in love with me. Just hit play and give it a listen to:

Say It Right

Tonight I was the most calm internally than I have been in a while. I usually feel all wound up and I have to work hard to appear relaxed. Yet, when presented with the opportunity to discuss something that has been on my mind for a while with the person that I have been wanting to talk to, I still found myself unable to. I am a pretty open person. I have no trouble answering nearly any personal question I’m presented; however, sitting someone down and talking about something that has been on my mind (something deep, not anything like a movie, book, etc.) proves to be a rather challenging task.

I will go over and over it in my head. I’ll know exactly what I want to say and how to say it. Yet, when the time comes, I just fumble over my words. I’m usually (over) analyzing what I’m going to say even while I’m saying it. So I tend to try to go back and reword what I’ve already said. This usually just confuses (and annoys) the other person.

I’ll also just wait until it is too late. Like, when I had a crush on this guy in college. He knew that I liked him, but I never told him. And I waited until I dropped out and went back to visit some friends before telling him that. I think it was easier because I wouldn’t have to stick around and be reminded every day of what a fool I was.

Now I find myself doing practically the same thing. There is stuff that I want to tell my friend that is important for me to get out. It’s just the idea of the words leaving my mouth that proves too frightening for me to actually follow through with doing so. I was going to wait right up until he was leaving (he is moving back to Spain in a few months) to talk to him, but I know that is doing what I always do. I suspect he already knows what it is that I’m going to say, but I still have say it for myself. Because, while I don’t regret anything I’ve done in my life, I will regret not doing something.

So I’ve told him that I have to talk to him and that I’m having trouble doing so whenever the opportunity presents itself. Now, until Wednesday night, I’m probably going to feel really anxious. I also know that it isn’t going to be as horrific an experience as I think it could be and that my anxiety isn’t necessary. But not feeling nervous is a lot easier said than done.

Like It Or Not II

I've done a little bit more to this piece, and, since I'm showing you different stages of the drawing from start to completion, I thought I would show you the progress I've made so far.

Before (left)/Now (right)

I'm Better

WAMU (Washing Mutual for those who don't bank there) has switched from Visa to MasterCard, so I got my new debit card in the mail today. Apparently, it isn't just any old debit card. It is a GOLD debit card. I don't quite know what the difference is, but I can only assume that I'm now better than all of you out there that have a normal one. What else could it possibly mean?

Oh, and I finally got Apple to replace my old iPod. I've been in three times before to get it repaired since it keeps freezing up on me. The first time, a cute "genius" (as they are called) told me that I could send in for a replacement for $40. I was strapped for cash that week and asked if I could return the following weekend after I got paid. He said sure. When I returned, a different "genius" told me that he could not replace it since it was working now and the guy I spoke w/ the previous weekend had not made notes stating that I would be returning the following week (not much a genius now is he?). It froze a third time and I went in yet again, and was told by the cute "genius" that it was most likely due to my anti-virus software. So, fast forward another month, and my iPod's warranty is up. So I'm out jogging today and at the halfway mark, it freezes up. Thankfully, the Apple Store is on my route, so I stopped in. The cute "genius" remembered me and agreed that my iPod was pretty much FUBAR. So I sign some papers and he hands me an iPod. I go to hand him my GOLD debit card, and he flashes me a smile and says, "I've taken care of it."

A friend of mine asked if I got his number since it seems to me like he was possibly flirting, but, sadly, I did not. I'm not that smooth. I don't even know for sure if he was flirting, or, for that matter, if he really hooked me up or if all replacements are free if they are in stock at the store (although he did tell me the first time that it would be $40). Besides, unless I know for a fact that they are gay, I will never risk the embarrasment of asking someone out again. Five years ago, my best friend (the one in Houston) convinced me that Whole Foods Guy (this guy I had a crush on...try to guess where he worked) had been "totally checking [me] out" when I went through his line once. So, foolishly, I built up enough balls to go back to the store and ask him out. I was only able to get "Would you like to..." out before I saw that look of horror on his face. I quickly apologized and dashed out.

But back to the whole GOLD card thing. Is it a coincidence that all the times I tried to get a replacement and couldn't, I had my normal debit card. But now that I have my GOLD debit card, I suddenly get it replaced (and for free!)? I think not. I have a feeling that things are only going to get better for me from here on out.

Yep, I know you bitches wish you were me right now!

Playing The Gay Card

I'm being lazy this evening and just stealing a post from Hypoxic. Actually, I think he stole it, too. But I digress...

The picture - that says so very much about the Republican strategy - is from dondon's blog. It's awesome!


Courtesy of Karl Rove, President Bush and the Republicans have, as expected, trotted out the gay card to help energize their radical religious right base before the November elections. The only time that Bush and Company talk about gay marriage is just before an election. The same for abortion rights. Once the election is won, they all but forget about it. I don't think this strategy will work for them this time.

Even the anti-gay religious Conservatives can see it for what it is. As reported in a recent LA Times article ...

"The campaign against gay marriage is scheduled to get the full White House treatment on Monday - words from President Bush in front of assembled VIPs and a bank of television cameras. Such a carefully staged production aims to confer the grandeur of the office on the push for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. But even before administration officials announced the event, some invitees denounced it as a sham. "I'm going to go and hear what he says, but we already know it is a ruse," said Joe Glover, president of the Family Policy Network, which opposes gay marriage. "We're not buying it. We're going to go and watch the dog-and-pony show, [but] it's too little, too late." Such comments have raised the prospect that the debate over gay marriage,— designed to galvanize one of Bush's most important constituencies, social conservatives.— could instead exacerbate the president's political headaches".

I think most will see the attempt for what it is - pure political opportunism ... nothing more, nothing less. Hopefully, it will not have a significant impact on the turnout for the November elections (if you are not yet registered to vote, click on the icon to the right and get registered today - before you forget).

But having said that, I never, repeat NEVER, underestimate Karl Rove. I think his current strategy is to unit the major U.S. religions on this issue in an effort to get them to turn out their members in November. I don't think he can do it (I'm not sure the religions can do it) , but I know that he is working hard behind the scenes to do just that.

Travelin' Thru

I have the opportunity to cash in some of my stock options at work, and I’m going to do it. Some of you would never even consider it, but I’m in need of a vacation. Now, you’re probably saying, “but Jeff, you just took one two weekends ago!” No, I did not. I took a trip to a family function. Unless I have no obligations other than relaxing, I don’t consider it a vacation…especially if family is involved.

Depending on how much I can get back, I am actually considering taking two trips. In August, I’m planning on spending a few days in Boston. I have a couple friends there that I’ve known for a few years that I would love to finally meet in person. I have also never been to Boston, but it looks like a beautiful city. It’s also rich with history, so I’m eager to experience that aspect, as well.

In October (already a busy month with my sister’s wedding and my best friend’s move to Spain), I may be headed for my favourite city, NYC! Rocco, my aforementioned best friend, has never been, and he is considering going with me. Since I haven’t been in over two years and I’ve had to push back my move, it is time to go. Now all I have to do is find someone that will let us crash at their place so I don’t have to pay for an expensive hotel.

Okay, I’m off to bed.

Sweet dreams!

Mr. Fabulous?

Nope, I'm not referring to the guy I met Friday night. He's a nice guy, but not bf material...at least not for me. We'd be bumping tacos, and, besides, I want a more masculine guy. But I digress...I haven't posted new music in a while, so I thought it was about time.

Last night, in between naps (the entire day was spent in bed, except for trips to the restroom, of course), I stumbled onto a new band while surfing the world wide web. Men, Women & Children are a new band that are disco fabulous electro pop. The most obvious comparison is Scissor Sisters. If you like that band, there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself enjoying this one. The song I have playing is “Who Found Mr. Fabulous?” It is from their self-titled debut album. I hope you enjoy it.

Things Have Changed

After my last break up in January, I decided on two things. I was going to pursue my dream of moving to NYC and I wasn’t going to date (at least not until I moved). There were two determining factors in my second choice. I had just gone through a break up with the first person I truly loved, and I also didn’t want another relationship to get in my way of making it to NYC.

Fast forward five months later, and I have decided that I am going to leave myself open to dating. I’m not going to pursue it, but I’m not going to close myself off to it.

Why have I brought this up, you ask? Tomorrow night I’m going out drinking with Adam. No, silly, it isn’t a date. I am; however, going to be meeting up with this guy that I’ve been talking to on Myspace for the past couple of months. We were supposed to meet two weeks ago, but it just didn’t work out. Then I was out of town this past weekend, so we agreed to finally meet tomorrow. And this meeting is far from a date, nor do I think that this is going to turn into anything more than a friendship. I guess I’m just nervous because the possibility of something more developing is there now. Had we met two weeks ago, the only possibility would have been a friendship. Now I’d be open to a date…assuming we hit it off in that way, of course.

Honestly, being open to dating is something that I hadn’t planned on feeling like doing this soon. It’s funny how one small detail can totally change your entire perspective on things. Where once I was completely hung up on someone, I’m now finding myself being able to move on. Besides, loving someone that doesn’t love you back just plain sucks, so I’m happy to be moving on.

Like It Or Not

I started a new drawing this evening. It is for my best friend's upcoming birthday. I have two more months, but I might make it a "series" or something. It is of Madonna, but I'm not trying very hard to make it look just like her.

Just Like A Movie Star

So I'm at work and a co-worker of mine stops me to say that she can't believe how much I look like Paul Walker. Of course, someone overheard and agreed. I find this a little hard to believe. I mean, first off, Paul is HOT! And I just plain don't see it, so I thought I'd get your opinion. What do you think, do I look like Paul?

Who is who? I'm not telling!

Somewhere Else

I spent this weekend in a small town in northern Indiana, which meant that I had to fly into Chicago! So I took this opportunity to spend a few hours downtown shopping at my favorite store, H&M. If you haven’t heard of this store, I refer to it as the IKEA of clothing. They both Swedish and their products are cheap, durable and trendy. The one exception is that, at H&M, you don’t have to assemble the clothes yourself. I spent $410, but managed to get a lot: 5 dress shirts, 1 casual button down shirt, 2 slacks, 1 jacket (not a suit), 2 cute pairs off underwear, some socks and 2 bracelets.

(okay, I didn’t take this photo obviously, considering it was in the seventies and no need for winter coats or anything)



I didn’t have much time, as I had to rush back to O’Hare to pick up my mom, sister and her fiancé, but I did manage to see some of the city outside of the store.







John Hancock Building



It was my mother’s birthday on Friday, so we took her to dinner at a nice little tapas restaurant, Emilio’s. I liked this restaurant because it has two different atmospheres. Indoors is a little more intimate and dressy, while the patio is more laid back. I was personally dressed more appropriately for the latter; however, my sister felt it was too cold to sit out there. The food was pretty good, although nothing to sit and rave about. Had we been kicking back on the patio having a few beers, I think the whole experience would have been a lot better. I would definitely go back.

Saturday was my cousin’s wedding in LaPorte, IN. Okay, so she isn’t technically my cousin, at least not by blood. She is my aunt’s best friend’s daughter, and they are, for all intents and purposes, family, despite the lack of blood relation. So, that being said, it was different to be at a family event where the only people I knew were my aunt and her boyfriend. But I digress. We had fun despite not knowing anybody. And let me just say, breeders are a strange bunch. Guys are acting like fools just trying to impress the women to get some pussy, while the women think they look hotter than they really are. I know us gays aren’t much better, but at least the majority of us have some rhythm. Myself not included, of course.

Me, my mother, Staci (the bride, obviously), my aunt and my sister



The bride and groom's first dance



We threw a wedding shower for my sister on Sunday. Since her wedding is in Vegas and the chapel can only hold 30 people (standing), nobody there is able to attend. So we had a little Vegas themed party so everyone could meet her fiancé.

My sister and her fiance (both really drunk)



Monday was absolutely dreadful. O’Hare was extremely hot, flights were delayed due to storms somewhere between Chicago and Dallas, and then, once on the plane, we were delayed again due to severe storms passing through Chicago. So I didn’t get home until after 11 p.m. I’m just thankful I made it home safely.

I know it isn't a great pic, but if you can see it, there are a bunch of planes lined up waiting for their turn to take off. We sat there for over two hours.



Now it’s time to get to bed. It’s approaching 11 p.m. and I told myself I would be in bed by 8 p.m. tonight since I didn’t get any sleep/rest the entire weekend. I blame Adam! Not really. He called me up and asked me to have dinner with him. I went, but only because he offered me a sexual favor in return. But, as usual, the bastard didn’t keep up his end of the bargain. It was still a pleasant evening. After the weekend and the drama that went down last night with an ex, it was so nice to be able to sit down and have a relaxing conversation with a friend over some naan and veggie pakodas and samosas.

Far From Home

i'm reminded of why i hate traveling...delays. Nearly every flight i take is delayed in some manner. This time around, my flight has been pushed back, BUT there are two flights originally scheduled to depart later than mine that are now flying out before. I understand why it works out that way, but that doesn't mean it sucks any less. I am so ready to get back to my bed. I haven't had any rest this entire trip.

just so i don't come off bitching the entire post...there is one good thing! There is plenty of eye candy to stare at. Yum!!!

**UPDATE**

i know now why this flight in particular has been a pain. My seat number is 13A. Yep. I am on the plane now, but there are storms rolling in. Plus, there is a screaming baby in my row.

but i am focusing on the negative. At least this hot spanish guy asked me what boarding group i was in. He wasn't flirting, but at this point, i take whatever i can get.

Fly Me Away

I'm on a plane that will eventually be departing and headed for chicago. Why do we say "on a plane?" i mean, are we sitting on the plane itself? No. We are inside the plane. Actually, i think George Carlin has some material about flying where he ponders the same question.

why am i posting while sitting on the plane, you ask? Because the lady's seat in front of me is wet. From what, i am not sure. Since it is a full flight, they have to replace her seat. I am assuming just the cushion part. I hope. Otherwise, we may be sitting here for a lot longer.

i don't want to run the battery low on my cell, so i am going to wrap this up.

I hope all of you have a fun, safe holiday if you are in the U.S. If you are outside the states, i hope you have a great weekend.

peace.

What's Good?

Nothing. Two things have really stood out to me while I’m sitting here watching the American Idol finale. Aside from the unbearable Golden Idol awards and the joke this entire season has been.

First – What the fuck was up with Toni Braxton? Was it just me, or could you not understand anything that she said? She seemed to be drunk or something. And did you notice Taylor’s reaction when she tried to get him to put his hand on her waist!?

Second – There was only one thing that came to mind when that guy picked up the award for “best impersonation.” Come on, say it with me now, “BLESS HIS HEART”

Oh, and now Prince. How desperate is he? I say VERY, considering how poorly his latest album is performing. And poor little Seacrest was dissed. Prince made sure he jetted off the stage before Ryan could get to him.

I know this isn’t much of a post, but I’m busy prepping for a trip this weekend. But I promise to back in full swing by next week.

Stupid Fool

The stupid fool I'm referring to is myself. I think my favourite song by Annie Lennox pretty much sums up why...

WONDERFUL

I wanna have you
'Cause you're all I've got
Don't wanna lose you
'Cause it means a lot
All the joy this world can bring
Doesn't give me anything
When you're not here ...

Idiot me
Stupid fool
How could you be
So uncool?
To fall in love with someone who
Doesn't really care for you
It's so obscure...

But I feel...
Wonderful
Yes I feel...
Don't You Know I feel..
Wonderful

God it makes me be so blue
Everytime I think about you
All of the heat, all of my desire
Smokin' like some crazy fire
Come on here
Look at me
Where I stand
Can't you see my heart burnin'
In my hands?
Do you want me?
Do you not?
Does it feel cold baby?
Does it feel hot?

I wanna hold you
And be so held back
Don't wanna need you
But it's where I'm at
Thinkin' bout you every day
How come I was made that way?
It's so surreal...

But I feel...wonderful
Yes I feel...wonderful

Whisper To A Scream (Okay, Not Quite A Scream, But I'm Getting There)

It’s been about two weeks now since I’ve sat down and written a proper blog, but I’m at a much better place now. I still have a bunch of shit going on at work, but I’m trying to maintain a positive attitude about it. I’m working hard (not that I wasn’t before) and hopefully that will pay off.

This past week or so I have been thinking about how I have very few friends here. I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself. I was trying to determine why that is. I think that I am a very interesting person, but maybe most of the time I don’t let people see that aspect of me. I was an extroverted person growing up; however, I think as I got a little older and began realizing that I was different, but not knowing in what way, I started retreating. In middle school, I became a soft speaker. I barely spoke above a whisper. And I’m not sure if this is the case for other soft speakers, but it actually sounded, to me, as though I was talking at a normal tone. To do that, I would have to yell. That went on until I was probably 20 or so. I met my best friend (1 of 3) and self appointed Big Sister. He said that if I hung out with him, that I would come out of my shell. Many had tried, and all had failed…until he came along. While I do contribute it mostly to him, I also believe that coming out played a big role.

Yes, coming out was definitely a very interesting process for me. I’ll probably get into some horror stories about some of my experiences in later blogs, but I should probably stick close to my topic. Anyway, if I didn’t have my Big Sister there to drag me out to the club (or even just out during the day on the weekend), I think I would have just confined myself to only leaving my apartment to go to and from work. And once I was out, it wasn’t like I let myself get all wild and crazy. I would normally just get a drink and then go stand off somewhere w/ my Big Sister. To this day, I still freak out (in my head) whenever I have to interact with a stranger. It is one of the most uncomfortable things for me to have to do. I tend to be very quiet and need someone else to keep the conversation going. Which, I’ll admit, isn’t a big turn on for the other person. It definitely doesn’t make me seem very interesting.

Nowadays, though, I’m really determined to get out and meet new people, although, I dread going to the bars by myself. But how else is one supposed to meet people? You may be thinking WORK, but, eh, I see those people all day every day and really don’t want to get drunk and make a fool of myself in front of a co-worker (which I’ve made the mistake of doing, but I wasn’t actually out w/ them, I just ran into them). So THANK GOD for MySpace. I’ve actually met two friends through the site, one of them being Adam. I actually met a guy back in January, and it was a horrible experience. I can laugh now, but at the time it was miserable and slightly pathetic. This guy that I had been chatting with insisted on meeting up. I stressed to him that this would not be a date, because I had just gotten out of one and was not looking for anything but friends (and no, not even a fuck buddy). Long story short, he proceeded to get drunk and announce that he was deeply in love with me. It’s a lot funnier when I recount it in person, but I digress.

Actually, on the topic of MySpace, I have been chatting with this new fellow. He’s a little bit of a hipster. He’s into art, comics and Charmed. Yep, a big ol’ dork. But a cute dork. We’ve been conversing now for a few weeks and have decided to finally meet up tomorrow night. While we are meeting just as friends (again, I’m still not looking for anything other than that, which will be the case for a while), I’m still really nervous. All the old feelings (scared, freaking out) are bubbling back up to the surface. If I had to go out by myself to meet him, I think would be such a nervous wreck that I would cancel. Honestly. So thank god for Adam and Brad. They are hopefully going to join me for drinks and this MySpace guy may meet up with us. It should prove interesting, and I’ll definitely post about it. I’m a little excited now actually. I think having my friends there will help w/ the whole social anxiety thing.

Actually, I’m really excited about the idea of getting to spend time with my best friend (another one). I don’t feel like I have been able to spend much quality time with him lately. Also, I feel the most comfortable around him, so I always look forward to being around him. Being around him actually calms me down. I’ve never met anyone that does that for me.

Well, I think I have written enough. Come back this weekend for an update or two. If I can get this fuckin’ site that I’m using to upload music to actually work, then I will also have a new song up in the next couple of days.

Take care
xoxoxo

Under The Weather

I haven't posted in a while because I just haven't felt up to it. To be quite honest, I really don't feel up to it right now. I've been stressing over some shit that has been going down at work, and now I believe it is catching up to me. I'm exhausted. My muscles are sore and I have no energy. Also, I have felt neausous for two days. I won't get into details here about my situation at work, as there is a chance that co-workers may read this.

Anyway, I'm going to lay down, but just thought I would update anyone that may be wondering where I've been.

Take care!

Malo

Before I met my best friend, K., back in September, I had never really listened to Spanish music. Aside from hearing the likes of Shakira, Enrique Iglesias, Ricky Martin, etc. , that is. But those were only their English language albums, with the exception of a Thunderpuss club remix of Shakira’s ‘Ojos Asi‘.
I was over at his apartment one evening back in October when he played this song by Bebe (Malo means 'bad' in English). Despite having no idea what she was singing, the chorus and her voice really attracted me to the song. I thought that it was very sexy, and then he told me that it was about spousal abuse. It still sounds sexy, even if the subject matter isn't.

While the album, Pafuera Telarañas, was originally released in 2004 in Mexico, it did not get released here until 2005. The album this is from is amazing and worth checking out, even if you do not speak Spanish (I still only speak Gringo).

Bebe was born Bebe Rebolledo in Valencia, Spain. She was nominated for five Latin Grammy awards this past year, and took home the award for Best New Artist.

Melt Your Heart

All last week and into this past weekend, I was complaining about what a horrible week I was having. I was behind at work, my biological father will be at my sister’s wedding, a friend I’ve been frustrated with and, the topper, I had to shave my beard. These are problems, but just how significant are they? Until early Sunday morning, I thought they were pretty big. Then I was catching up on Hypoxic’s blog, and one of his latest posts made me realize how insignificant my problems really are.

It is a post about the effects of Chernobyl. While I was alive when it happened, I don’t really know anything at all about it. I knew that millions of people had been killed and that many people were still feeling the effects of the radiation. What I was not aware of was the pure devastation that is still going on over there. That there are still millions of people that are suffering daily because of this catastrophe. It is heartbreaking to see what the radiation has done to children and that it is only going to continue for thousands of more years. Some are so deformed that they can’t walk, so they lay (and eat and everything else) on the floor all day long.

It’s easy to go about your day to day life and not think about the other people out there that don’t have it as well as we do. As I’ve said before, we’ve hit the jackpot just by being born here.

Do me a favor, go here and check out this moving pictorial essay by Paul Fusco.

Save The Internet (Part II)

250,000 people have signed the petition in a week, but we still need more people to join the fight to keep the internet free. Please sign the petition.

The vote is next week, so please don't just stop at signing the petition yourself. Encourage your family, friends and co-workers to go to the link above and sign. This petition will be delivered to Congress, and everyone who signs will be kept informed of the next steps that are taken to keep the pressure on Congress before next week's House vote.

Snopes.com, which monitors various causes that circulate on the Internet, explained:

"Simply put, network neutrality means that no web site's traffic has precedence over any other's...Whether a user searches for recipes using Google, reads an article on snopes.com, or looks at a friend's MySpace profile, all of that data is treated equally and delivered from the originating web site to the user's web browser with the same priority. In recent months, however, some of the telephone and cable companies that control the telecommunications networks over which Internet data flows have floated the idea of creating the electronic equivalent of a paid carpool lane."

If companies like AT&T have their way, Web sites ranging from Google to eBay to MoveOn either pay protection money to get into the "fast lane" or risk opening slowly on your computer. We can't let the Internet — this incredible medium which has been such a revolutionary force for democratic participation, economic innovation, and free speech — become captive to large corporations.

Fired Up

I don’t keep up with the news as I should. However, my friend, Adam, informed me of something that happened in my home town of Spring, TX that has outraged me. Apparently, last weekend, two white teenagers severely beat a 16 year-old Hispanic boy because they believe he tried to kiss a 12 year-old white girl while at a party. They took him out, beat him and then sodomized him with a metal pipe…all while screaming racial epithets. And, as if this wasn’t bad enough, they covered him in bleach and left him for dead. In fact, the boy was not discovered until twelve hours later, barely alive. He is not expected to survive, either.

The two attackers, Keith Robert Turner (age 17) and David Henry Tuck (18) are currently charged with aggravated sexual assault. It has not yet been determined whether this should be classified as a hate crime or not, as the penalty, assuming the boy lives, would be the same. However, if the boy dies and it is a hate crime, Tuck could receive the death penalty. Turner, unfortunately, is too young to receive execution.

When Adam told me this, I felt sick to my stomach. I actually wanted to vomit. Not too long ago, another friend of mine told me that I’m very naïve. And while I am not sure if this is exactly what he meant when he said it, I’m realizing now how right he is. I avoid the news in any form. Mostly because it is too depressing. However, I really should be staying on top of things, because there is a lot of stuff going on that affect not only me, but my loved ones. For instance, this immigration issue (which I believe the aforementioned attack is a result of)...I know that there are a lot of Hispanic people not going to work today and not buying anything. I’m not sure how much of an impact their message will have, but I hope that it will have enough of one.

See, I don’t believe that I think like the majority of middle- to upper-class white males do. I don’t think that someone’s rights should be limited due to the color of their skin, the country they are from, their gender, sexual preference or whatever. Nobody should have to work extra hard to achieve something simply because they aren’t white or because they are a woman. It shouldn’t be more difficult for a Hispanic person to attempt to enter the country legally than someone from, say, Canada, but it apparently is. But this country was built by immigrants, whether legal or not. The majority of the people that are here illegally are here for a better life. To find jobs where they can actually make money to support their families. They work hard. A lot of them take on jobs that most others would pass on. They work in the hot sun. And they don’t receive the benefits that we take for granted. I don’t think people realize just how important and vital non-documented workers are to our lives. That’s why I hope that today’s protest (not going to work and not buying anything) has the impact that is intended. I’m not saying that we should just give citizenship to anyone and everyone. But I don’t think that what is being proposed is the right approach.

I don’t know if I’m really getting my point across, as I’m not used to speaking out, but I hope I have. We can’t just sit back and let things like this happen any more. We have the power to make changes, but most of us (including me) have been sitting on our lazy asses not doing anything about it. There is too much shit going on and we don’t have any excuses for not voicing our opinions and demanding changes and justice.

If you are a US citizen, you need to make them hear you by first registering to vote. But that’s not all, you have to actually get out and vote, otherwise, things will only get worse. And you can’t complain because you let it happen. Don’t let it stop at you, either. Encourage your family, friends and co-workers to register and vote.