Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Like It Or Not

I started a new drawing this evening. It is for my best friend's upcoming birthday. I have two more months, but I might make it a "series" or something. It is of Madonna, but I'm not trying very hard to make it look just like her.

Just Like A Movie Star

So I'm at work and a co-worker of mine stops me to say that she can't believe how much I look like Paul Walker. Of course, someone overheard and agreed. I find this a little hard to believe. I mean, first off, Paul is HOT! And I just plain don't see it, so I thought I'd get your opinion. What do you think, do I look like Paul?

Who is who? I'm not telling!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Somewhere Else

I spent this weekend in a small town in northern Indiana, which meant that I had to fly into Chicago! So I took this opportunity to spend a few hours downtown shopping at my favorite store, H&M. If you haven’t heard of this store, I refer to it as the IKEA of clothing. They both Swedish and their products are cheap, durable and trendy. The one exception is that, at H&M, you don’t have to assemble the clothes yourself. I spent $410, but managed to get a lot: 5 dress shirts, 1 casual button down shirt, 2 slacks, 1 jacket (not a suit), 2 cute pairs off underwear, some socks and 2 bracelets.

(okay, I didn’t take this photo obviously, considering it was in the seventies and no need for winter coats or anything)

I didn’t have much time, as I had to rush back to O’Hare to pick up my mom, sister and her fiancé, but I did manage to see some of the city outside of the store.

John Hancock Building

It was my mother’s birthday on Friday, so we took her to dinner at a nice little tapas restaurant, Emilio’s. I liked this restaurant because it has two different atmospheres. Indoors is a little more intimate and dressy, while the patio is more laid back. I was personally dressed more appropriately for the latter; however, my sister felt it was too cold to sit out there. The food was pretty good, although nothing to sit and rave about. Had we been kicking back on the patio having a few beers, I think the whole experience would have been a lot better. I would definitely go back.

Saturday was my cousin’s wedding in LaPorte, IN. Okay, so she isn’t technically my cousin, at least not by blood. She is my aunt’s best friend’s daughter, and they are, for all intents and purposes, family, despite the lack of blood relation. So, that being said, it was different to be at a family event where the only people I knew were my aunt and her boyfriend. But I digress. We had fun despite not knowing anybody. And let me just say, breeders are a strange bunch. Guys are acting like fools just trying to impress the women to get some pussy, while the women think they look hotter than they really are. I know us gays aren’t much better, but at least the majority of us have some rhythm. Myself not included, of course.

Me, my mother, Staci (the bride, obviously), my aunt and my sister

The bride and groom's first dance

We threw a wedding shower for my sister on Sunday. Since her wedding is in Vegas and the chapel can only hold 30 people (standing), nobody there is able to attend. So we had a little Vegas themed party so everyone could meet her fiancé.

My sister and her fiance (both really drunk)

Monday was absolutely dreadful. O’Hare was extremely hot, flights were delayed due to storms somewhere between Chicago and Dallas, and then, once on the plane, we were delayed again due to severe storms passing through Chicago. So I didn’t get home until after 11 p.m. I’m just thankful I made it home safely.

I know it isn't a great pic, but if you can see it, there are a bunch of planes lined up waiting for their turn to take off. We sat there for over two hours.

Now it’s time to get to bed. It’s approaching 11 p.m. and I told myself I would be in bed by 8 p.m. tonight since I didn’t get any sleep/rest the entire weekend. I blame Adam! Not really. He called me up and asked me to have dinner with him. I went, but only because he offered me a sexual favor in return. But, as usual, the bastard didn’t keep up his end of the bargain. It was still a pleasant evening. After the weekend and the drama that went down last night with an ex, it was so nice to be able to sit down and have a relaxing conversation with a friend over some naan and veggie pakodas and samosas.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Far From Home

i'm reminded of why i hate traveling...delays. Nearly every flight i take is delayed in some manner. This time around, my flight has been pushed back, BUT there are two flights originally scheduled to depart later than mine that are now flying out before. I understand why it works out that way, but that doesn't mean it sucks any less. I am so ready to get back to my bed. I haven't had any rest this entire trip.

just so i don't come off bitching the entire post...there is one good thing! There is plenty of eye candy to stare at. Yum!!!


i know now why this flight in particular has been a pain. My seat number is 13A. Yep. I am on the plane now, but there are storms rolling in. Plus, there is a screaming baby in my row.

but i am focusing on the negative. At least this hot spanish guy asked me what boarding group i was in. He wasn't flirting, but at this point, i take whatever i can get.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Fly Me Away

I'm on a plane that will eventually be departing and headed for chicago. Why do we say "on a plane?" i mean, are we sitting on the plane itself? No. We are inside the plane. Actually, i think George Carlin has some material about flying where he ponders the same question.

why am i posting while sitting on the plane, you ask? Because the lady's seat in front of me is wet. From what, i am not sure. Since it is a full flight, they have to replace her seat. I am assuming just the cushion part. I hope. Otherwise, we may be sitting here for a lot longer.

i don't want to run the battery low on my cell, so i am going to wrap this up.

I hope all of you have a fun, safe holiday if you are in the U.S. If you are outside the states, i hope you have a great weekend.


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

What's Good?

Nothing. Two things have really stood out to me while I’m sitting here watching the American Idol finale. Aside from the unbearable Golden Idol awards and the joke this entire season has been.

First – What the fuck was up with Toni Braxton? Was it just me, or could you not understand anything that she said? She seemed to be drunk or something. And did you notice Taylor’s reaction when she tried to get him to put his hand on her waist!?

Second – There was only one thing that came to mind when that guy picked up the award for “best impersonation.” Come on, say it with me now, “BLESS HIS HEART”

Oh, and now Prince. How desperate is he? I say VERY, considering how poorly his latest album is performing. And poor little Seacrest was dissed. Prince made sure he jetted off the stage before Ryan could get to him.

I know this isn’t much of a post, but I’m busy prepping for a trip this weekend. But I promise to back in full swing by next week.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Stupid Fool

The stupid fool I'm referring to is myself. I think my favourite song by Annie Lennox pretty much sums up why...


I wanna have you
'Cause you're all I've got
Don't wanna lose you
'Cause it means a lot
All the joy this world can bring
Doesn't give me anything
When you're not here ...

Idiot me
Stupid fool
How could you be
So uncool?
To fall in love with someone who
Doesn't really care for you
It's so obscure...

But I feel...
Yes I feel...
Don't You Know I feel..

God it makes me be so blue
Everytime I think about you
All of the heat, all of my desire
Smokin' like some crazy fire
Come on here
Look at me
Where I stand
Can't you see my heart burnin'
In my hands?
Do you want me?
Do you not?
Does it feel cold baby?
Does it feel hot?

I wanna hold you
And be so held back
Don't wanna need you
But it's where I'm at
Thinkin' bout you every day
How come I was made that way?
It's so surreal...

But I feel...wonderful
Yes I feel...wonderful

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Whisper To A Scream (Okay, Not Quite A Scream, But I'm Getting There)

It’s been about two weeks now since I’ve sat down and written a proper blog, but I’m at a much better place now. I still have a bunch of shit going on at work, but I’m trying to maintain a positive attitude about it. I’m working hard (not that I wasn’t before) and hopefully that will pay off.

This past week or so I have been thinking about how I have very few friends here. I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself. I was trying to determine why that is. I think that I am a very interesting person, but maybe most of the time I don’t let people see that aspect of me. I was an extroverted person growing up; however, I think as I got a little older and began realizing that I was different, but not knowing in what way, I started retreating. In middle school, I became a soft speaker. I barely spoke above a whisper. And I’m not sure if this is the case for other soft speakers, but it actually sounded, to me, as though I was talking at a normal tone. To do that, I would have to yell. That went on until I was probably 20 or so. I met my best friend (1 of 3) and self appointed Big Sister. He said that if I hung out with him, that I would come out of my shell. Many had tried, and all had failed…until he came along. While I do contribute it mostly to him, I also believe that coming out played a big role.

Yes, coming out was definitely a very interesting process for me. I’ll probably get into some horror stories about some of my experiences in later blogs, but I should probably stick close to my topic. Anyway, if I didn’t have my Big Sister there to drag me out to the club (or even just out during the day on the weekend), I think I would have just confined myself to only leaving my apartment to go to and from work. And once I was out, it wasn’t like I let myself get all wild and crazy. I would normally just get a drink and then go stand off somewhere w/ my Big Sister. To this day, I still freak out (in my head) whenever I have to interact with a stranger. It is one of the most uncomfortable things for me to have to do. I tend to be very quiet and need someone else to keep the conversation going. Which, I’ll admit, isn’t a big turn on for the other person. It definitely doesn’t make me seem very interesting.

Nowadays, though, I’m really determined to get out and meet new people, although, I dread going to the bars by myself. But how else is one supposed to meet people? You may be thinking WORK, but, eh, I see those people all day every day and really don’t want to get drunk and make a fool of myself in front of a co-worker (which I’ve made the mistake of doing, but I wasn’t actually out w/ them, I just ran into them). So THANK GOD for MySpace. I’ve actually met two friends through the site, one of them being Adam. I actually met a guy back in January, and it was a horrible experience. I can laugh now, but at the time it was miserable and slightly pathetic. This guy that I had been chatting with insisted on meeting up. I stressed to him that this would not be a date, because I had just gotten out of one and was not looking for anything but friends (and no, not even a fuck buddy). Long story short, he proceeded to get drunk and announce that he was deeply in love with me. It’s a lot funnier when I recount it in person, but I digress.

Actually, on the topic of MySpace, I have been chatting with this new fellow. He’s a little bit of a hipster. He’s into art, comics and Charmed. Yep, a big ol’ dork. But a cute dork. We’ve been conversing now for a few weeks and have decided to finally meet up tomorrow night. While we are meeting just as friends (again, I’m still not looking for anything other than that, which will be the case for a while), I’m still really nervous. All the old feelings (scared, freaking out) are bubbling back up to the surface. If I had to go out by myself to meet him, I think would be such a nervous wreck that I would cancel. Honestly. So thank god for Adam and Brad. They are hopefully going to join me for drinks and this MySpace guy may meet up with us. It should prove interesting, and I’ll definitely post about it. I’m a little excited now actually. I think having my friends there will help w/ the whole social anxiety thing.

Actually, I’m really excited about the idea of getting to spend time with my best friend (another one). I don’t feel like I have been able to spend much quality time with him lately. Also, I feel the most comfortable around him, so I always look forward to being around him. Being around him actually calms me down. I’ve never met anyone that does that for me.

Well, I think I have written enough. Come back this weekend for an update or two. If I can get this fuckin’ site that I’m using to upload music to actually work, then I will also have a new song up in the next couple of days.

Take care

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Under The Weather

I haven't posted in a while because I just haven't felt up to it. To be quite honest, I really don't feel up to it right now. I've been stressing over some shit that has been going down at work, and now I believe it is catching up to me. I'm exhausted. My muscles are sore and I have no energy. Also, I have felt neausous for two days. I won't get into details here about my situation at work, as there is a chance that co-workers may read this.

Anyway, I'm going to lay down, but just thought I would update anyone that may be wondering where I've been.

Take care!

Thursday, May 04, 2006


Before I met my best friend, K., back in September, I had never really listened to Spanish music. Aside from hearing the likes of Shakira, Enrique Iglesias, Ricky Martin, etc. , that is. But those were only their English language albums, with the exception of a Thunderpuss club remix of Shakira’s ‘Ojos Asi‘.
I was over at his apartment one evening back in October when he played this song by Bebe (Malo means 'bad' in English). Despite having no idea what she was singing, the chorus and her voice really attracted me to the song. I thought that it was very sexy, and then he told me that it was about spousal abuse. It still sounds sexy, even if the subject matter isn't.

While the album, Pafuera Telarañas, was originally released in 2004 in Mexico, it did not get released here until 2005. The album this is from is amazing and worth checking out, even if you do not speak Spanish (I still only speak Gringo).

Bebe was born Bebe Rebolledo in Valencia, Spain. She was nominated for five Latin Grammy awards this past year, and took home the award for Best New Artist.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Melt Your Heart

All last week and into this past weekend, I was complaining about what a horrible week I was having. I was behind at work, my biological father will be at my sister’s wedding, a friend I’ve been frustrated with and, the topper, I had to shave my beard. These are problems, but just how significant are they? Until early Sunday morning, I thought they were pretty big. Then I was catching up on Hypoxic’s blog, and one of his latest posts made me realize how insignificant my problems really are.

It is a post about the effects of Chernobyl. While I was alive when it happened, I don’t really know anything at all about it. I knew that millions of people had been killed and that many people were still feeling the effects of the radiation. What I was not aware of was the pure devastation that is still going on over there. That there are still millions of people that are suffering daily because of this catastrophe. It is heartbreaking to see what the radiation has done to children and that it is only going to continue for thousands of more years. Some are so deformed that they can’t walk, so they lay (and eat and everything else) on the floor all day long.

It’s easy to go about your day to day life and not think about the other people out there that don’t have it as well as we do. As I’ve said before, we’ve hit the jackpot just by being born here.

Do me a favor, go here and check out this moving pictorial essay by Paul Fusco.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Save The Internet (Part II)

250,000 people have signed the petition in a week, but we still need more people to join the fight to keep the internet free. Please sign the petition.

The vote is next week, so please don't just stop at signing the petition yourself. Encourage your family, friends and co-workers to go to the link above and sign. This petition will be delivered to Congress, and everyone who signs will be kept informed of the next steps that are taken to keep the pressure on Congress before next week's House vote., which monitors various causes that circulate on the Internet, explained:

"Simply put, network neutrality means that no web site's traffic has precedence over any other's...Whether a user searches for recipes using Google, reads an article on, or looks at a friend's MySpace profile, all of that data is treated equally and delivered from the originating web site to the user's web browser with the same priority. In recent months, however, some of the telephone and cable companies that control the telecommunications networks over which Internet data flows have floated the idea of creating the electronic equivalent of a paid carpool lane."

If companies like AT&T have their way, Web sites ranging from Google to eBay to MoveOn either pay protection money to get into the "fast lane" or risk opening slowly on your computer. We can't let the Internet — this incredible medium which has been such a revolutionary force for democratic participation, economic innovation, and free speech — become captive to large corporations.

Fired Up

I don’t keep up with the news as I should. However, my friend, Adam, informed me of something that happened in my home town of Spring, TX that has outraged me. Apparently, last weekend, two white teenagers severely beat a 16 year-old Hispanic boy because they believe he tried to kiss a 12 year-old white girl while at a party. They took him out, beat him and then sodomized him with a metal pipe…all while screaming racial epithets. And, as if this wasn’t bad enough, they covered him in bleach and left him for dead. In fact, the boy was not discovered until twelve hours later, barely alive. He is not expected to survive, either.

The two attackers, Keith Robert Turner (age 17) and David Henry Tuck (18) are currently charged with aggravated sexual assault. It has not yet been determined whether this should be classified as a hate crime or not, as the penalty, assuming the boy lives, would be the same. However, if the boy dies and it is a hate crime, Tuck could receive the death penalty. Turner, unfortunately, is too young to receive execution.

When Adam told me this, I felt sick to my stomach. I actually wanted to vomit. Not too long ago, another friend of mine told me that I’m very naïve. And while I am not sure if this is exactly what he meant when he said it, I’m realizing now how right he is. I avoid the news in any form. Mostly because it is too depressing. However, I really should be staying on top of things, because there is a lot of stuff going on that affect not only me, but my loved ones. For instance, this immigration issue (which I believe the aforementioned attack is a result of)...I know that there are a lot of Hispanic people not going to work today and not buying anything. I’m not sure how much of an impact their message will have, but I hope that it will have enough of one.

See, I don’t believe that I think like the majority of middle- to upper-class white males do. I don’t think that someone’s rights should be limited due to the color of their skin, the country they are from, their gender, sexual preference or whatever. Nobody should have to work extra hard to achieve something simply because they aren’t white or because they are a woman. It shouldn’t be more difficult for a Hispanic person to attempt to enter the country legally than someone from, say, Canada, but it apparently is. But this country was built by immigrants, whether legal or not. The majority of the people that are here illegally are here for a better life. To find jobs where they can actually make money to support their families. They work hard. A lot of them take on jobs that most others would pass on. They work in the hot sun. And they don’t receive the benefits that we take for granted. I don’t think people realize just how important and vital non-documented workers are to our lives. That’s why I hope that today’s protest (not going to work and not buying anything) has the impact that is intended. I’m not saying that we should just give citizenship to anyone and everyone. But I don’t think that what is being proposed is the right approach.

I don’t know if I’m really getting my point across, as I’m not used to speaking out, but I hope I have. We can’t just sit back and let things like this happen any more. We have the power to make changes, but most of us (including me) have been sitting on our lazy asses not doing anything about it. There is too much shit going on and we don’t have any excuses for not voicing our opinions and demanding changes and justice.

If you are a US citizen, you need to make them hear you by first registering to vote. But that’s not all, you have to actually get out and vote, otherwise, things will only get worse. And you can’t complain because you let it happen. Don’t let it stop at you, either. Encourage your family, friends and co-workers to register and vote.