Wake Up Alone

Slowly but surely, I'm beginning to recover from the traumatic events of Saturday night. I still miss my baby immensly, especially in the morning. Having her warm little body curled up under the covers next to mine and that adorable little face greeting me. Some people may find it difficult to comprehend how one could be so attached to an animal, and all I can compare it to is losing a family member. In fact, the only way I can really operate is by trying to not think about it. I have to detach myself from it, otherwise, I would still be in bed. Aside from dinner Monday and a failed attempt at going to work Tuesday, I didn't get out of bed until yesterday afternoon.

My friend invited me over to his house and we lounged around the pool downing mimosas. We talked about anything other than Zadie. Then my friend Terrance swooped by and took me to dinner. He has been an amazing friend throughout this ordeal. The night of the incident, he rushed right over and stayed with me until after 1 a.m. I don't think I could ask for a better friend than what he's proven to be.

On a sour note, I am very frustrated with my ex. He is supposed to be my best friend, yet, he wasn't there when I needed him the most. I called him while I was rushing out the door with Zadie slowly dying in my arms, and he told me, "let me finish what I'm doing here and then I'll head over." I don't think so. When your friend is going through something like that, you drop everything that you are doing to help them out. Well, in most circumstances, but he definitely could have rushed over. He also told me that he was going to call me back and has yet to do so. Back in January, he wrote a blog about how he was disappointed in me as a friend. When I confronted him about it later, he told me he had no idea why he was mad at me just that he was. It's my turn to be disappointed in him, and at least I have a reason. A very good one.

All that aside, I'm excited about this weekend. My friend, Jorge, from Houston is in town today. He recently lost his dog to cancer, so it'll be nice to have someone who can relate to what I'm going through. He's also an amazing friend. It's hard to believe that we only met in person about one year ago (we've known each other via MySpace for over 3 years), because we instantly bonded. He's someone that I feel like I've known for most of my life. I'm hoping he is able to stick around through Friday, as we don't get to hang out as often as I'd like to.

I also may have two dates this weekend. One of them started off promising, then quickly faded, but, as of last night is back on course. The other one is one that I'm not spending any time worrying about. I would love to go out w/ this guy since I've had a crush on him for so long, but I just feel like I'll be disappointed if I think it's actually going to happen. If I think it won't, then it'll be a nice surprise if it does.

Assuming I go on a date, it will be my first in over a year-and-a-half. I've actually been on very few dates in my lifetime. I went on one w/ my last boyfriend before we became exclusive, and it had been over three years since before that. So if you have any suggestions on what I should plan to do, let me know! I'm used to being in a relationship, and those "dates" are a little different.