See Where It Goes

I'm back to work this morning after a for-no-special-reason extended (as in four day) weekend, and what an interesting weekend it was. I've decided that it's best I keep a low profile (i.e. - go out less) over the next few weeks for financial reasons, which meant that I was going to make the most of this weekend. For those who don't know me personally, I can (and usually am) a very quiet, reserved person. Lately, though, I have found myself itching to break from that tradition, and I managed to do so this weekend. And it wasn't all thanks to alcohol.

I've noticed that these past few weekends I've been so intent on finding a mate that I haven't been having fun. It isn't like that's what I've set out to do, I've just let it consume me. I found myself out with friends and struggling to keep a conversation going because I was too focused on surveying the crowd. I'll just put it out there, I needed to get laid! But that isn't what I wanted, either. In fact, I've been presented w/ the opportunity on a few occasions over the past few weeks, but that's all that was offered. I'm in it for more than that, which is terribly difficult to find as a gay man. Or at least for me, since I'm so picky.

These weekend I was intent on just having fun w/ my friends and not even worrying about finding a boy. I really had just given up, so to speak. Not entirely, but enough to where I could focus on other (more important) things. Besides, why should I bother getting a boyfriend any way, considering I'll be so preoccupied with work and school this January? So I met up with my friends every night (starting Thursday) and just had fun.

Thursday night I had dinner with my friends that are baristas at my favourite Starbucks. It's within walking distance from work and I'm there every weekday...and not because I'm addicted to the iced green tea that I get. This was the first time that we have all hung out together outside of the Starbucks environment and, I must say, it was a pleasant experience. Aside from one guy's annoying alcoholic boyfriend, that is.

On Friday, my friend T and his partner (who rarely goes out) invited me out to see their friend perform at a local bar. Turns out that the bar is one of those seedy, hold in the wall places and his friend was a dancer. It was actually quite odd. I mean, nothing against dick dancers (I personally am not into it), but it was still odd to me that this guy had invited all his friends out to see him. His boyfriend was there, we were there (well, T and his partner were, I can't include myself since I never got introduced to the guy) and some other friends (who had come in from out-of-town just to see him!). We didn't stay long...mostly because we were afraid to touch anything in there. The night was down hill after that, as that experience kind of put a damper on things. We met some other friends out for a drink and then ditched the bars for some food.

Saturday evening, a friend invited me over for a very small gathering at his apartment. He lives in the same complex that I used to a couple years, so it was weird being back. Especially since his unit is a mirror-version of my old one and I could see my old one from his balcony. It's only weird because I have so many bad memories. I found myself falling into my typical quiet self, so I made it my goal that night to break out and loosen up. We ended up at a local bar on the strip and a new friend met us out. I don't know what it is about this guy, but I come out of my shell so easily when he's around. I'm not attracted to him in a sexual way, but he's so much fun to be around. I guess I just feed off of that energy. So we ended up at a club. Many drinks were consumed and much fun was being had by all. I eventually found myself dancing w/ some guy. He was cute and all, but, if it were possible, he'd have had sex with himself. His dancing involved flexing his "guns." He'd also grab my hands and have me feel his muscles. It was all quite comical and I found myself rolling my eyes; however, it was still fun.

Sunday was largely spent in bed. I didn't feel like doing much of anything as I had spent the previous day cleaning my apartment (although it looks as though nothing has been done to it, still as dirty as ever - well, dirty as in dusty, the place collects dust with extreme ease) instead of resting up. That night; however, I met up with my usual gang of troublemakers for a planned late evening - since I had Monday off. We started on the strip, then headed off to our usual hangout and then back to the strip. We hit the club and shortly thereafter I met a nice fellow. While we had been making eye contact and smiling at each other and all that other lame stuff, I was nervous about approaching him due to my history w/ guys (i.e. - they are usually in a relationship) and the fact that he was standing w/ another guy. My friend, who is a retired psychiatrist, approached him for me since he knows my luck.

Turns out the guy has many qualities that I'm looking for in a guy. Most importantly, he is single and, as far as I can tell, he's not an addict. He's also my age! We should be going on a date this week to see if we hit it off sober.

I spent Monday hanging out w/ my friend since it was his birthday. We watched movies and just lounged the entire day. It was much needed R&R.